Last night, I stayed up talking to A. I've known her 22 years. Yes, that is a long long long time, given that I'm not much older than that. We hadn't really spent time like this, in a very long time. But, being able to talk to and relate to someone from so far back was comforting. It felt good. And more importantly, it felt familiar.
It made me wonder - should we go back to what is familiar, every now and then, to just feel that comfort that you otherwise don't realize you need?
I would like to. Right now, this instant - I want to go back. I want to go back to something that was too far back, and yet not all that long ago. Something that is too far away now. I want to go back there, just to feel that rush once more. This time around, I promise to appreciate it for all that it's worth.
I want to go back, just to be able to say:
- Thank you for the best memories. They'll always stay with me. No matter what.
- I want to help you build that home for the elderly, as I promised.
- I'll always be just a phone call away.
- I'm sorry, I didn't know any better. Please don't hate me.
Today, I want to go back just to say - "Have a Great Day!"
Return to reality.
Am I living in the past? I hope not. Am I living in the present and hoping? Maybe. If so, am I being unfair to what is solely in the present? Possibly.
Like I said, I don't know what is right and wrong. But, I do know that this familiarity is my comfort. I don't know if I will continue to feel this way tomorrow, or even later tonight. But for now, I crave it.
Thanks A, for the lovely conversation. Both of us were tired and sleepy, and had long days ahead of us. But, it was worth every second. You should know that you are more family to me than friend. Also, it's that conversation that's now got me writing this blog*.
*This is my first post on this blog. I've set up blogs before, but they haven't exactly been personal blogs. So, I'll consider this to be my first post on my first blog.
2 comments:
D, what you want to go back to is also in the past. Is that still the same. It's kinda like the playgrounds of our childhood. When we were children, we thought our playground was the best, shiniest, superest in the world. When we grew up, we missed it. When we went back, we realized it was not that shiny, not that super. Not saying that your past is not shiny. Just saying maybe, just maybe, what you yearn for has changed.
Just a thought, baby. Think about it. We'll love you always :)
you write very well :)
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